Should My Children Be Present During My Pet’s Euthanasia?

“Should my child be there?” It’s one of the most common, and most heartfelt, questions we hear at Peaceful Transitions.

For many children, losing a pet is their first true encounter with grief. As parents, we want to protect them. But we also want to honor the love they’ve shared and help them understand what it means to say goodbye.

The right choice depends on your child’s age, emotional maturity, and your family’s beliefs. Below, you’ll find gentle, expert guidance to help you make the best decision for your child and your beloved pet.

Children 8 and Under: What to Consider

 

For younger children, especially under age 8, witnessing the full euthanasia process, particularly the IV injection, may be emotionally overwhelming. At this age, children tend to form procedural memories (what they see) more than emotional ones. The visual of their pet going still may linger more vividly than the peace surrounding the moment.

That’s why I encourage parents to ask:

“Is this the memory I want them to carry?”

A meaningful alternative: allow your child to say goodbye while their pet is still awake, or resting peacefully after the sedative. Then they can leave the room with a trusted adult, holding a memory of comfort, not clinical details. I like to offer children the opportunity to write their pet a letter during this time that I can take with their pet when we leave.

Older Children (8+): Give Them a Voice

 

Children over 8 tend to have a clearer understanding of death and may ask to be present. If they do, honor that request, even if only for the sedative portion, when their pet is gently falling asleep.

You can ask:

  • “Would you like to be there for the first part, when they’re getting sleepy?”
  • “Do you want to say goodbye beforehand and wait in another room?”
  • “Would you like to help plan a ceremony afterward?" 

 

Giving them agency builds trust and reduces confusion. Still, only you can assess what they’re emotionally ready for. If you sense their desire to be present may be more than they can handle, gently guide them toward another meaningful form of goodbye. That, too, is a tender act of love. 

Talking to Children About Death

 

 When a beloved pet is nearing the end of life, one of the hardest parts is explaining what’s happening to your child, especially if it's their first experience with loss.

Use clear, honest language

Avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep” or “went away,” which can be confusing or even frightening. Instead, try:

“Our dog’s body is very tired and sick, and it can’t work the way it needs to anymore. We’re helping them transition peacefully so they don’t feel pain.”

Using the word “transition” frames death as natural and fluid, rather than scary or abrupt.

Honor your beliefs

If “transition” doesn’t align with your spiritual or cultural perspective, use language that feels true for your family. Personally, I believe that dogs do not fear death, they understand it’s not the end.

Acknowledge their feelings

Let your child know that it’s okay to be sad, angry, or confused. You might say:

“I’m really sad too, because I love them so much. It’s okay to cry. We can miss them together.”

Create space for goodbye

Allow them to say goodbye in their own way—by drawing a picture, reading a letter, or simply sitting quietly with their pet before the vet arrives.

Keep their memory alive

Celebrate the love that was shared. Look at photos. Tell stories. Remind your child that love doesn’t disappear, it just changes shape.

Answer questions with kindness, not perfection

It’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters most is helping your child feel safe, seen, and heard.

 

Let Them Feel

 

Grief isn’t something to fix. It’s something to feel.

Suppressing emotions can slow healing. Child psychologists agree—grief must be expressed, not buried. Telling children to “be brave” or “move on” can backfire, making it harder for them to process loss.

Every child grieves differently. Some cry. Some get angry. Others may laugh or go quiet. All of it is normal. Let them move through it in their own way.

How You Can Help:

  • Normalize emotions. Say things like, “It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. That just means you loved them.”
  • Validate their reaction. Whether they cry, laugh, or want to play—it’s all part of grief.
  • Offer outlets. Let them draw, write a letter, or plant a flower. Give them choices.
  • Model healthy grieving. Show your own feelings. Kids learn more from what you do than what you say.

Grief is love in a different form. Let them feel it.

Gentle Ways to Help Children Process the Loss

  

Whether or not they are present during euthanasia, children benefit from love, inclusion, and ritual. Consider:

  • Writing a letter or drawing a picture for their pet
  • Requesting extra paw prints or keepsakes just for them
  • Whispering or sharing a favorite memory 
  • Ordering a custom pillow or plush in their pet’s likeness. (This brought great comfort to my youngest son when we said goodbye to our beloved dog, Joey.)

The Sacred Power of Ceremony

 

Creating a ceremony—before the veterinarian arrives, after the euthanasia, or even weeks or months later—offers powerful healing for both children and adults.

Ceremony gives form to grief. It creates sacred space where love and loss can coexist, and where we can intentionally mark the passing of a beloved soul.

 

Ceremonies could include:

  • Lighting a candle and sharing memories
  • Taking a family hike to a favorite trail
  • Holding a backyard campfire with stories
  • Writing letters and placing them in a memory box
  • Planting a tree or flower in their honor

These rituals can be repeated yearly on their passing’s anniversary. For children, it becomes a safe emotional outlet. For you, it’s a sacred thread of continued connection. And for your pet, I truly believe they feel and receive your love through these acts of remembrance. 

 

Protecting the Energy in the Room 

  

Animals are deeply attuned to energy, especially in their final moments. They sense our emotions through tone, body language, and presence. Creating a calm, grounded space helps your pet feel safe and supported as they transition.

Before inviting children or others to be present, consider gently asking yourself:
“Will their presence offer comfort, or might it unintentionally introduce stress?”

This isn’t about exclusion. It's about intention. Some children bring a peaceful, nurturing energy. Others, especially when overwhelmed by emotion or uncertainty, may unintentionally share that stress with the pet. Preparing everyone with care allows space for connection without added tension.

Ways to support a peaceful environment:
• Talk with your child ahead of time about what to expect
• Encourage quiet voices and gentle movements
• Let them know there’s no pressure—they’re there simply to love
• Consider a separate, special goodbye moment if needed, supported by a trusted adult

Your pet’s final experience is sacred. Together, we can honor them with calm, comfort, and love.

 

Talk with Your Euthanasia Veterinarian

 

Open communication with your veterinarian helps co-create a peaceful, supportive experience for everyone involved—especially your beloved pet.

Consider discussing:

• How you’d like the process to be guided
Would you prefer each step explained as it happens, or would you rather your vet move gently and quietly without narration?

• Involving children with care
Share your thoughts about your child’s presence. Together, you can plan ways to prepare and support them based on their age and emotional needs.

• Creating emotional space for yourself
It’s okay if you need help holding everything at once. If you feel it may be too overwhelming to grieve and support your child simultaneously, consider asking a trusted adult to be nearby for them. This isn’t exclusion, it’s an act of compassion for everyone.

In the End, It’s Your Family’s Choice

  

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Only what’s right for your child, your pet, and your heart.

 If you believe your child is ready, trust that. If you believe they would be better served in another way, honor that too. 

Both choices are rooted in love.

 

Support for This Sacred Time

We’re here to walk this journey with you. Please feel free to reach out to us with questions.

 Email: [email protected]

For more resources about end-of-life care for pets go to our website by clicking the button below.

Peaceful Transitions